


The Sins of a Slytherin

by AmbitionAndInk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Past, Drarry, Fluff, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, M/M, Slytherin, possible werewolf draco, punk draco, therapist hermione
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:42:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8619496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbitionAndInk/pseuds/AmbitionAndInk
Summary: Basically a typical Drarry fanfiction, it's my first piece of work on AO3 so I'm just testing the waters. I don't expect this story to be anything more than maybe a chapter or two, but we'll see! 
This story follows Draco and his endeavor to find help when he finds unexpected emotions for someone he never thought he would, and finds help in someone even more shocking than his love interest. How will it play out for the pair?





	1. Chapter 1

Draco found himself lying down, staring up at the ceiling of his four poster bed. He was in his eighth year at Hogwarts, and he often found himself in this state ever since the beginning of his eighth year. The boy's dormitory of the Slytherin dungeon was now empty, save for Draco, and it was the most comfort he could ask for at the moment: alone with the gentle ambiance of the dorm room. Water from the Great Lake gently splashing against the windows, a soft green glow seemed to dance across every surface it could reach, and the sounds of the distant fireplace were still not enough of a distraction for him. Nothing could distract him from the incessant thoughts that flickered around the edge of his conscious every day, and stole his imagination every night. Thoughts of someone he was supposed to feel nothing but hatred for. Nothing could possibly distract Draco from Harry James Potter.

In his loneliness, he wondered if maybe he felt more comfortable being alone in the dorm when he was in this state because he enjoyed concentrating on Potter. He didn't like when there were others in the dorm, it felt crowded and made him anxious, it interrupted his train of thought. His train of thought usually focused on Potter, and its course was always the same. The guilt of having feeling towards Potter, a boy who hated him, a boy who went against the Malfoy family beliefs, even though Draco had come to the realization that his family's beliefs were outdated and based on ignorance, he was raised on them. And it would take a while to change it. But he wanted to change it. He wanted to change for the boy who befriended Muggle-borns, the boy who was praised and admired, the boy who put up with Draco's ignorance for eight years, the boy who lived. It was a tiring way to spend his days at Hogwarts. Even more so now, after the Battle of Hogwarts. He hid himself from the other students, and still felt negativity trailing him. He hid himself in physical ways more than closing himself in his room; he now worried about the Dark Mark that covered his arm, stung his pride, and stained his reputation. Draco would always be looked down on now because of his foolishness. In addition, he had lost a lot of his friends. If they could even be considered friends. Inevitably, Draco was forced to remain quiet about his troubles. There was no one left to listen, and he was left with his emotions buried away from everyone, even himself. The only emotions he was left with were guilt and anxiety. And they cycled constantly.

Interrupting his thoughts like he so passionately loathed, Draco heard people coming into the common room, so he decided it was best to leave now before anyone came in. Even his fellow Slytherins looked at him differently ever since he began to change himself. The place he was in, Draco thought, was reminiscent of Purgatory. He could not befriend anyone new because of his soiled reputation, and he was unable to return to his old friends because they thought he had gone soft or simply were not there anymore. The voices remained in the common room, so Draco was allowed time to change himself into fresh robes before standing tall, fixing his hair, and striding past the younger years in the common room with an air of dignity. Once in the dungeon corridor beyond the entrance to his common room, he had not any idea where to go now. For the few months that he had been attending this year, he had never found a nice spot for himself to be secluded. The dorm was unsafe, the Room of Requirement would be ideal if he could go in there without his anxiety spiking, the grounds around the school were relaxing, but too open for Draco's liking. In his condition, he considered even going into the Forbidden Forest to find peace, even though peace in the Forest was certainly eternal. The one place he longed to be more than any other place was at Potter's side. Pressed tight into his body, wrapped around him and feeling his affection being reciprocated, something very foreign to Draco. 

Even before his eighth year had begun, Draco found himself fantasizing about the way Potter interacted with the other students. It was amazing how Potter had the skill of making friends so easily, whereas Draco would only watch from a distance and wait for an opportunity to arise where he could use his status as a way to charm others, despising himself for not knowing how to socialize when it seemed so simple. More than anything, Draco wanted to be with Potter. To talk to him like a real friend would. Had anyone else known about his situation, they would've immediately recognized that Draco admired Harry more than just as a friend. However, Draco himself was still to stubborn to accept that he felt love for Potter. It would be a long time before he finally would acknowledge these intense feelings of intimacy.

Eventually, he found himself at the portrait of the Fat Lady that was the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. How he had come to be there, he did not know, all he knew was he did not want to stay there. It wouldn't help if he was found at their door. Draco turned and headed off, away from the portrait and away from the dungeons. Unfortunately. . . .

"Malfoy," a familiar voice drove into the back of his head like a dagger, "what excuse do you have for being in this part of the castle?"

He spun around to face the cold voice, still maintaining his dignified demeanor, "Well, Granger, I expected you of all people to know that I have these things called classes that I have to attend. Maybe you aren't as smart as everyone makes you out to be," he sneered.

Hermione, however, remained unaffected by his comment, "I'm not surprised, really, that you would think now is an appropriate time for classes. I mean, it's not like you're ever on time for classes, so how are you expected to know that we're all on break right now?" His ears turned red in a dark contrast to his skin. It was indeed around midday, and most students were lounging about or eating. Draco scoffed and left briskly, deciding to go to the library in his attempt to find a silent spot. It wouldn't be the first time he's gone there, but all the other times he'd gone, he often found Potter and his inseparable friends already there. He was never able to bring himself to talk to them.

Even if Draco had the nerve to talk to them, it would only be rude remarks back and forth. There's no way he could go up to them and have a normal chat with them all, no way to get Potter alone. A big part of him wanted to apologize. Yet every time he exchanged words with any members of his little golden trio, it was a snide comment. Draco's pride got the better of him every time. They would say something to him, and his natural response is something equally sarcastic. It felt like there was no possible way to have a genuine conversation with them. Not even to express his apologies. 

Naturally, he was so caught up in his thoughts about Potter and his charming attitude that he never even noticed Hermione was trailing him silently. Draco made it all the way to the library and still hadn't noticed her. He paused in the doors to scan the room, gauging how many people were in the room, and where he could sit that would offer him privacy and silence. He found a set of low sat leather chairs off in a corner, with a lamp between them. Hermione was grateful that he chose that particular spot; she didn't plan on hiding from him the entire time. The library didn't have that many students in it to begin with, but Draco chose these seats because they were distant from the rest. It was ideal for him, and because it was ideal for Hermione as well, it was going to make it worse for Draco. Or better, depending on who you're asking. 

They made their way to the chairs, Hermione still following undetected, and as soon as Draco sat, she sat opposite him. He stifled a loud groan. "Damn you, Granger, why do you insist on following me and provoking me like this? I just wanted a place to be alone." And technically, that is all he wanted. 

"Every where you go you're alone, Malfoy," she said blatantly, "It's clear that you have either pulled yourself away from everyone, or everyone left you. I've certainly noticed, but it's not to say you don't deserve it. What is it you really want? Don't try and play clueless either, I've noticed you walk past the Fat Lady portrait six times in the past week." Her eyes were narrow. She had him caught, and they both knew it. Draco didn't even know that he had been frequenting the portrait that often. All her statements were true as well, even if they were painful to admit to. 

It had been so long that this tension has been building, now Draco had a chance to worsen it, or finally ease up the tension. After this long, he finally had the opportunity. He thought for a solid few minutes about his next words, the next few words that would define the rest of his year at Hogwarts. 

He took the chance.

Draco let out a sigh, "Of all the people I could open up to, it was you. I want to open up, but with you, I don't know how. Even if this is what I've wanted for the longest time, it's still a trial of my pride. I don't even know how to begin this. . . ."

Hermione was actually surprised at his response, "Mal- Draco, are you. . . actually talking with me? Like a normal conversation with no insults being tossed about? Not only that, you said. . . you'd wanted this for the longest time. Are you saying that you've wanted to talk to me for a long time? Oh Merlin no, I would never--"

Draco hissed, "It's not like that! And don't talk so loudly, I don't want all the attention you bring. Of course I don't want to talk to you- well that's not what I meant either, it's just," another sigh, "I want. . . to apologize. I'll start there."

Hermione still looked awestruck, "Start there? That will take a long time. And if it really means as much as you make it seem like it does. . . save it for when it matters. And I know it does matter, because there's no other reason you'd let all your friends go away for nothing. Just. . . summarize it for me to the best of your ability, I don't really want to be seen with you either."

"Oh," he scoffed, "thanks." Then another sigh, "I understand, however. So. . . it's Potter."

There was a look of disbelief on her face. "Draco, you've been obsessing over Harry since before first year, that's nothing new."

"No. . . no. I think. . . I'm in love."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter got some positive feedback, so I'll definitely be making more chapters!
> 
> In this chapter, will Draco finally be able to confront the boy who lived?

The room was filled with silence, as was expected. Hermione looked like she had been stunned, Draco felt likewise. He still couldn't believe he was actually following through with this. You'd almost think he had been given veritaserum with the way he practically forced the words out. There was no way for him to back out of this predicament, the chance he had wanted so badly. He was finally forced to move forward with his life once again, now it was just up to him if it would lead to happiness or continue sinking deeper until he was finally released into a world where he still had no friends, into a family cold as the snow itself. The choice was easy to make, it was the path to achieving what he sought that would be the most difficult. 

"Well," Draco had to tread carefully now that he was making progress, "I'll just continue explaining. . . . It began at the start of this year. I was already so deeply infatuated with Potter, but I never expect anything to come of it. At first, I simply wanted to apologize to him, and leave it at that. That proved to be unlikely, as I could never get near him. Another reason that could not happen was, I had begun to lust after his acceptance. I wanted forgiveness, and I wanted friendship. He has such admirable qualities, I wanted to surround myself with his positivity for a change, rather than the harsh and cold environment of my current peers."

Hermione finally found her words after Draco's shocking confession, "I. . . that. . . that makes sense. . . I suppose. . . ." She was going over the truth in her mind, contemplating the best course of action to take that would benefit the most. Should I even help him, she thought to herself, after all he's done to me? What he's done to my friends? Even if he's being sincere, what would Harry make of this?

It was settled in Draco's mind; he wanted no more hostility with these people. He wanted only to right his wrongs and to finally be with Harry, no matter how long it took for him to make up his past mistakes. "Listen. . . Hermione, I. . . I know how hard this is going to be for you. To finally trust me- it's going to take a lot of effort. From the both of us. But you have to believe that I mean everything I say. What do I possibly have to gain from deceiving you this way?"

She pondered this for a moment. In her mind, she knew he had a point. It would still be a while before she would start admitting to these things aloud, however. "A lot of effort, right. What do you suppose I do, then, Malfoy? I mean, if Harry knew you spent this much time talking to me already without insulting me, he'd never believe it. It would probably ruin your chances of ever. . . getting with him." The very idea of Harry dating Malfoy was something she was still very conflicted about, though it's not like it was never discussed before. What would that truly be like? Hermione imagined Draco being around all the time, and she suddenly doubted her actions of listening to Draco in the first place. 

Unless he really was changing for the better. It might make it more bearable. But in the moment, there was no way to tell. The only possible way to truly know if he was going to change and if he was really going to become a better person, was to trust him. 

"I'm still thinking about that. For now. . . I want to apologize to you first, since you're already here. I know. . . I was an ass, all those years. I had a prejudice against you and it wasn't justified. There was no reason for it, I just. . . I was raised believing it was right. I was young and ignorant, my parents used that to mold me into a cold person that felt hatred towards others because of something so simple as who their parents were. Clearly. . . having Muggle parents didn't affect you. . . you're still considered the brightest witch of your age. What my father was, is something I never want to be. I have to live with guilt and regret every day. Guilt and regret that I inherited from my father." Draco felt a bitter taste in his mouth, left by the memory of his father. 

The distress in his voice was enough to convince Hermione that Draco was serious about changing the course of his life. Luckily he had decided to do it now, at this time in his life. It was the time for redemption and making amends, seeking the absolution of others. Now was the time to undo the damage he had already caused, partly due to the ignorance of his father, partly due to his own blind mannerisms that never allowed him to see through the ignorance cast over him. Though he knew Lucius had done a great deal to contribute to his bigoted lifestyle, Draco also knew he couldn't shift the blame onto someone else on the sole reason that he was unhappy with his past. If he was going to be honest, he was going to be honest all the way.

It took a lot of effort for Hermione not to comment on his undeniable compliment to her skill level, though she would never forget it had happened and planned to remind him of it often with a smug attitude. If, of course, things worked out. "Apology accepted. Though I feel it was well deserved, I still think Harry should be a priority for you. If you still feel so adamant to be with him, that is. Tell me how you plan on approaching him, I'll try and help you work through it properly. I can't believe I'm practically giving you relationship advice. . . ."

"It's a lot to take in, I assure you," Draco muttered, sinking back in his chair and feeling somewhat relieved, "So when do you suppose I confront him? And how would I even go about doing that? It's going to be hard to get to him. . . mostly because he made it a point to ignore me." He held his head in his hands, his blond hair protruding from the gaps in his fingers like overgrowth spilling from the gaps in sidewalk cracks. "I could get him to notice me easily enough, but to get him to talk to me. . . ."

Hermione thought on this for a moment, "Maybe getting him to notice you is just the first step in getting him to talk to you. I know how he acts, so I can offer assistance when it's required of me, but the way he acts when it comes to you: it's something I haven't yet translated. Harry is certainly different when the topic involves you."

If it would get him any closer, Draco was going to make himself noticeable. "I'll think of something. . ." he already had something in mind, "to catch Potter's attention. I'm trusting you on this. Is there any specifics you could give me? Anything he particularly enjoys?" Hermione couldn't believe who she was talking to. It was like Draco had become a first year again, a first year that had a crush on someone older than them and would do anything to get their attention.

"Oh, alright. . . ." Hermione went on to tell Draco what she knew about Harry. Only the basic topics of course, avoiding all personal things just in case Draco was playing her along and intended on going back to the Death Eaters. The conversation was drawn out for hours it seemed, and when they were done with it, the sun was almost set. 

"Look, we'll have to continue this some other time," Hermione pointed out, and Draco agreed. Hermione needed to get back to her friends, and Draco. . . Draco needed to get back to his bed. The only source of peace he could find in these trying days spent avoiding the ones he wished to be with. 

The very next week, Draco had prepared himself differently, specifically to catch Harry's attention. And, most likely, the whole school would notice him as well. At least people may finally pay any attention to him, after months of isolation and being ignored. None of that mattered to Draco. He was only focused on Harry Potter. With a new found confidence that only could've been brought around by the idea of snagging Potter's attention and finally getting a chance to talk with him, Draco strode into the Great Hall for breakfast. 

Almost immediately after he walked through the doors, everyone noticed him. Normally, the students would often watch him from a distance anyway, because everyone wanted to gossip about Draco Malfoy and his the things he'd done. So inevitably, people would notice him. He was noticed by all the students - and staff - for a completely different reason this morning. Everyone turned to stare at this new Draco, with hair dyed a deep shade of crimson, black jeans that fit tight to his legs, and a black tank top depicting phases of the moon on it. Of all the outlandish new things about him, most of the students were focused on something older. His arms, streaked with rough white scar tissue from the fight in his sixth year, were exposed. Draco didn't care about revealing them anymore. And most importantly it seemed, he didn't care about exposing the Dark Mark that was now visible on his left forearm. The tattoo was surrounded by new tattoos. Bright floral patterns and elegant and intricate designs branching off of it. There was a banner beneath it, with the words "Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus" inside of it. All the students had turned their attention to Draco, amazed and awestruck at this new style of his. Where he had gotten Muggle clothing like that, no one knew. Where he dyed his hair and got the tattoos? No one knew. But it was Hogwarts, things like that weren't usually questioned. 

It was a very odd sight, and a welcome commotion spread through the students. There was almost never anything like this happening, never anything exciting disrupting the school. Mainly due in part to Voldemort being defeated. Draco didn't look anywhere but forward as he made his way to his table, he didn't listen to any comments, nor acknowledge any stares. Because he knew, even with all the imperfections that were scattered across his pale skin, that he was still a changing human being. And though no one was truly perfect, no one can truly be imperfect because of their appearance for the same reason. 

So Draco sat down with his overflowing confidence. He stared across the Great Hall, and looked directly into Harry's green eyes, standing out from the rest.


End file.
